Always Learning

Aloooha!

When the semester ends and in an instant you have much more free time than you know what to do with, it’s amazing the things you’re able to start accomplishing. Things like going running for the second time in three months (the other time being over Thanksgiving break) or eating a healthier diet than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Little Caesar’s pizza or binge watching all the Star Wars movies. Probably the best thing to do, though, is reflect back on everything that’s happened since the semester started… Look at where you were then, where you are now, how you’ve grown, how you’ve regressed, what you’ve learned, what you want to stop doing, what you want to keep doing, what you want to start doing… Those kinds of things. Because if you’re going through life without learning from and appreciating everything that’s happening, what’s the point…?

A wise man once gave me this advice: “Learn from the past. Prepare for the future. Live in the present.” It wasn’t until much later that I realized he was quoting Tommy Monson. Go figure. But that’s kinda what this post is gonna be about. Reflections on this last semester and goals for the next. Buckle up, fam, because it’s been a wild ride.

My schedule was so eclectic this semester that you could have looked at it and not had any idea what I was majoring in. (To be fair, I guess I wasn’t totally sure about that for a while either.) Between upper division economics and biology classes, a chemistry class, an English class, a tennis class, and of course, a Western swing class, I was learning things that had almost no relevance to each other. That kinda sucked, but at the same time, learning a whole mess of different subjects gives you a really good idea of what you like and what you don’t like. I really appreciate the people who are into atoms and acids and bases and molecular genetics and stuff, I appreciate that their fields of study are incredibly important and relevant, and I applaud them for pursuing that. But after a month or so of genetics and chemistry, I learned that I really, really, really don’t care about the mechanics of what happens in my cells, and a career relating to that doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. I’m much more interested in how society works, in how people behave and respond to incentives… Those sorts of things. Things I’d get to learn more about if I were to double major in, say, Economics and International Business. Hence, that’s the plan. ...for now, at least.

So the plus side to a bunch of different classes? You learn pretty quickly what you like. The down side? Well, you can’t really drop the classes you don’t like once you’re that far into the semester. You learn pretty quickly that learning material simply for the sake of performing well on tests is frustrating and demotivating, but you kinda gotta push through them to maintain your GPA.

I learned through experience that there is such thing as putting too much on your plate. If you spread yourself too thin getting involved in too many things, you won’t be able to excel in any one of them in particular. I covered this in another blog post, but this was definitely one of my biggest take-aways from this semester. Whatever you do, do it well, and don’t do too much. (Or still do, despite learning this lesson… Still low-key struggling with this one.)

I learned that the people you should always make a priority in your life are the ones that are always gonna make you a priority in theirs. These people are gonna be few, but that’s ok. They’re gonna be the ones that you’ll be golfing and skiing with when you’re in your 70s.

Perhaps the greatest lesson I’ve learned this semester (or maybe have had reinforced) has been a very real application of the principle of agency. To illustrate this, there’s an occasion in the Pearl of Great Price when the Lord takes Enoch on a walk and shows him all the inhabitants of the earth. At one point, Enoch sees that the Lord is weeping and asks him why. The Lord explains that he created us and gave us knowledge and agency -- the freedom to act for ourselves. He gave us the commandment to love, yet our carnal selves often choose to hate and be without affection, leading to the suffering of both the hatees and the haters. The Lord can command us in all things, yet he has not the power to force or compel us to do anything. For this reason, I believe, he wept. Not because he wants to be able to control us, but because he understands better than anyone that love and nothing else is what will ultimately lead us to happiness, and when we disregard this, we miss out on some very real and sublime blessings. That’s the burden that comes along with the gift of agency. Unwise decisions often result in suffering, yet allowing us to act for ourselves is completely essential to our progression. There are some things we simply must learn through experience.

Just as the Lord allows each of us to act for ourselves, it’s our responsibility to allow others to do the same. We may give advice to friends, and they may or may not heed it, but either way, we have to be ok with their decisions, even (or perhaps especially) if we know it’s going to cause them pain. If we take a look at our own track records on decision making, are any of us even close to being perfect? Not a chance. But our choices and experiences define who we are. So, here’s to becoming the best people we can be, one right or wrong decision at a time.

I know there’s more to reflect on this semester (like the amount of tacos or Indian food I’ve eaten), but this is all that’s coming to mind right now. We’ve got Revenge of the Sith to watch, so I probably ought to wrap up. I’m looking forward to the break, and I’m excited for next semester. I’m excited for classes relevant to what I want to make a career out of. I’m excited to know just what I’m gonna be involved in and dedicating my time to. I’m excited to spend more time with the people I love. And I’m excited to keep learning and stumbling my way through this wonderful, beautiful journey we call life.

Much love and aloha my friends. Mele kalikimaka!

Dizzy

Love and War, Humanity and Dance: Musings of a Western Swing Student on Universal Pictures' Bring it On

A wise man named Brandon Flowers once asked, “Are we human? Or are we dancer?” At the time, his sign was vital and his hands were cold. He ended up on his knees looking for the answer, though we’re unsure if he ever found it. Perhaps he never did. Or perhaps he did, but he wants us each to find it for ourselves. Of course, there’s the superficial answer to this question that most quasi-intelligent individuals should know. Being human and being dancer are not two mutually exclusive events -- most dancers are also human, although most humans are not also dancers (even if they think they are -- sadly, being proficient in “twerking,” “whipping,” or “nae-nae-ing” does not qualify you as a “dancer” in this sense of the word). But then, there’s the deeper answer -- the one that transcends our limited human understanding. Just what does it mean to be human? Or dancer? What do these titles say about who we are inside -- our characters? Although it may not answer these questions entirely, the critically acclaimed film Bring It On offers us several profound insights.

Bring It On tells the tale of a cheerleading squad that’s competing for its sixth consecutive national championship. To get there, they have to overcome many obstacles -- scandal, drama, and sexual tension, among others. In the end, they end up taking second place to a rival squad, but they learn a few things along the way. (And the guy ends up with the girl, so what more could you ask for in a movie?)

One of the most important lessons from the film can be summed up in one quote: “This isn’t about cheating. It’s about winning!” Charlie Sheen can attest to that, as can Donald Trump. In life, we all want to win, and we don’t have to cheat to get there. Charlie Sheen wins because tiger blood runs through his veins. Donald Trump wins because he speaks very loudly about his great ideas (like building a big wall). Neither of them cheat, but they’re winners! The same went for the cheer squads. Indeed, the Toros chose to knowingly cheat a time or two. Did they end up winning the championship? The answer is, sadly, no. They placed second. The Toros were not winners.

But as humans, we’re bound to mess up a time or two, right? We’re not going to be winners all the time. Sometimes we have to lose every once in awhile to appreciate the times we win. To borrow a scriptural term, we have to “taste the bitter, that [we] may know to prize the good.” (Moses 6:55) The Toros had never tasted loss before, having won six national championships. Perhaps in the sequels, this loss will play to their advantage.

Dancers are meant to be perfect. When Wednesday night at the Fun Park comes, a dancer is expected to reverse-cuddle-duck-out flawlessly. But what about all those times the dancer has fetched up to get to where he or she is? Do the spectators see that? Of course not! Behind the dancer is a slew of mistakes, and that’s what makes us human. Perhaps that’s what Brandon Flowers wants us to learn. Perhaps that’s what the writers of Bring It On were trying to teach us. And perhaps that, whether we realize it or not, is why we each took Western Swing this semester.

Spread Too Thin

Aloooha!

Well hey, it's been a few weeks since I've done one of these, eh? I guess once things start pickin' up during the school year, you don't have as much time to do the things you enjoy. Ah haibo... Hopefully the fact that I enjoy blogging doesn't make me lame.

Anyway, this post has been a long time coming. I've been wanting to write it up for a while, but just haven't had the time. But looking back, that's probably a good thing. I think this'll wrap up on a much more positive note today than it would have other days. That'll probably make more sense at the end of this, though, so I think I'll just dive right in...

I'm sure most of us have heard the phrase "spread too thin" before. You know those times you go to a restaurant and the waitress brings you like fifteen rolls but only one small sacrament cup of butter to split between them? It's kind of like that. Instead of being able to make one roll delicious with the right amount of butter, you're stuck dividing it fifteen ways and none of them end up tasting very good.

The last few weeks I've felt like I can really relate to the butter in this analogy. I've grown up with the idea that I can do and get involved with anything and everything I want. And up until this point, that's been true. In high school, I did everything. I swam, I took AP classes, I was in student government, I played volleyball, and I managed a 4.0 GPA on top of that. The same went for my freshman year up here at Utah State. Coming back from my mission this summer I figured I should probably take advantage of all the involvement opportunities I could get my hands on. On top of 17 credit hours, I decided to continue with the Huntsman Scholars program, volunteer with the programming office, get more involved with SigEp, find part time work, train for a marathon, and stay spiritually strong. And I mean I probably realized that each of those individually was a pretty big commitment at the start, but hey... That had never stopped me before. Well, I'm proud to say I've been managing to balance everything so far.

...kind of.

The realization I had a couple weeks ago that really freaked me out was that by committing myself to so many different things, it's hard to be really involved with any one of them in particular. Like, I've met people in Huntsman Scholars, and that's what they're involved in. They're able to commit much more effort than I've been able to and have gotten so much more out of it. It goes the same with most of the things I'm doing -- there are people that get to be passionate about that one organization they're involved in, and that defines who they are during their college years. As I thought about this, I asked myself, "Who have I been so far? What defines me?" And at this point, I don't know the answer to those questions. I guess what's defined me so far this year has been attending mandatory meetings and quickly making my way to other commitments. And that sucks... I don't get to know as many people or get as much out of what I'm "involved" in as I should.

My class schedule this semester reflects that as well. If you were to find out that I'm taking a genetics class, a chem class, an econ class, a tennis class, and a western swing class this semester, you may guess correctly that I'm an economics major, but the odds aren't necessarily in your favour.

I hit a pretty low point this last week after spending every free moment I had on Sunday and Monday studying for exams in two of my classes that I didn't end up doing particularly well on. I've always excelled in academics, and getting to the point where I can't even excel there anymore is rough. And in the meantime, I've felt like I've been neglecting people and things I should be committing more time to.

When you hit that point, something's gotta give.

A few weeks ago, all of us 2012 Davis SBOs had a reunion. It was incredible to be with them again. I think hands down, out of any group of people I've ever been a part of, I enjoyed my time most with them. We found massive success in fulfilling our responsibilities and were as close and unified to each other as we could be. Even though we all came from different backgrounds, we had each made being a student body officer our priority that year. That ended up defining our senior years. Our other priorities came second. When you can get a group of nine people (Dave is definitely included here) to commit to that, truly incredible things will happen.

I think at this point, I need to prioritize and decide what's really important. Look at long term goals. Commit myself to the most important things and let others go. There's no sense in being a jack of all trades if you can't master at least one of them.

Luckily, I'm blessed with some pretty incredible people in my life. I have family and friends that I can always turn to for advice. And for that reason I'm feeling good right now. There's something about taking a break from life to go to a corn maze or spending Halloween weekend at a cabin with good people and (close to) no cell phone service that can really help clear your mind. Good food as well. If you've never had Alexon Tiem spend an afternoon cooking a giant meal for you, you're missin' out.

I think the ultimate goal in this life is to find happiness, and that happiness should be coming all along the journey. Be excellent. Do things that make you happy. If you're not doing things that are bringing you joy, you probably need to make some changes.

Anyway, I should probably get back to school work for now. Writing this has been a nice break though. Hopefully it's less than two months before I have time to write another one of these, eh?

Much love and aloha my friends.

Dizzy

S1E5

Aloooha!

Week one of fall semester, done! Hee yeah! And I don't think it could have gone any better! Well, I take that back... I guess setting up for the 80s dance on Friday only for Marcus Wing's stage to be blown down and destroyed was kind of a downer. And there was the dude that showed up for the dance after drinking a Red Bull spiked with pre-work out that was pretty bummed when he found out he'd have to work off all that caffeine elsewhere. And I'm not a billionaire yet, so I guess things could have been better in that area too. But I guess it'll all come in time... Patience, right?

Ah, for real though. Being back in school has been the bomb. It feels so incredibly nice to be busy again. And I've been amazed at how well I've been able to balance things out so far this week. Between school, sleep, a social life, and (trying to find) work, I'm feelin' gooood. That could just be because it's the first week and a lot of classes were heavier on reviewing the syllabus (or in the case of my beginning tennis class, having all the rackets stolen over the summer and cancelling a couple days in a row) than actual schoolwork, but hey... I've got things under control so far. Stay positive from the beginning, right?

Let's see... What's made this week great... Well, I guess I hit a pretty big milestone. I'm at the age now where I start dressing like a hipster and making fun of my exes. This should be an adventure. Started off twenty-one last year a half a world away with crocodiles, Italian food, the Indian Ocean, Elder Mphaka, Elder Sieverts, Elder Mackie, and continuing on in one of the greatest callings on earth. It had ups, downs, diagonals, and everything in between, but all-in-all it was definitely the best year of my life so far. Twenty-two's off to a great start too. Between being in Logan with some of the greatest friends in the world (sorry to the ones living elsewhere rn), being able to FaceTime the fam bam in Hawaii, learning to use a selfie stick, Texas Roadhouse, someone who forgot all about Braden Hess, and a couple-days belated birthday lunch at Tandoori Oven... I don't think there's much else a guy can ask for. Twenty-two... Let the games begin,

Oh! So this was pretty cool. I've been walking to class basically every day. I've taken the bus a couple times, but I mean it's only like a 20 minute walk from Oakridge to campus, and the weather's way too nice to be spending too much time in a vehicle. Anyway, I was up on campus late one night cleaning up after high stakes bingo (one of the best parts of Week of Welcome, by the way). By the time I was able to make the trek back it was like 11:30, and there was a song stuck in my head... Can't remember what it was, but when I pulled my earbuds out to listen to it, I saw that the little rubber piece at the end of one of them was missing. Seems to happen a lot with the Skullcandies. Sigh... So I start looking for it on the ground without any luck, when all of a sudden a couple guys chilling outside their apartment came and offered a helping hand. We looked for a couple minutes, still with no luck, and eventually I was compelled to be on my merry way. They offered their condolences for my loss and we bade each other farewell. As I was walking away, I thought to myself, "If I had seen a complete stranger looking for something outside my apartment at 11:30 at night... Would I offer a helping hand?" I think all of us would like to think we would, but I don't know that we always would. It's so easy to make excuses instead of doing small acts of goodness in people's lives. And there's opportunities for it all the time. I guess we just have to be consciously looking for them and doing them. I don't remember those guys' names, and I'm still without my little rubber piece on one of my earbuds, but man... I sure did appreciate their willingness to help. If you were ever doubting that there are good people still in the world, fear not my friends... They exist.

Ah, and on kinda that same theme, it's Sunday right now. Church today was fantastic. Probably one of the most spiritually edifying meetings I've been to in a while. Perhaps it was the message, perhaps it was just that I was more engaged and willing to listen than usual today... Either way, I felt like I had found answers to questions I had. The lesson in Sunday school was on the Plan of Salvation and the Priesthood lesson focused on the Atonement. The elders quorum president... Eish, I can't remember his name, but I do remember he's from Bicknell, Utah, wherever the nic that is. Anyway, he was asking us how we're going to use the Atonement this school year, and the thought that came to me was for the day to day things... I mean, really, most of the time, we're not going to have grievous sins we need to repent of. And perhaps a lot of the time it may not even be things we're doing wrong, but things we could be doing better. If we're not spiritually where we want to be, if we feel like we could manage our time at school better, if we want to kick a bad habit, if we want to be more patient with people, if we want to be more outgoing... That's exactly what the Atonement's for. Christ doesn't just understand our suffering when we sin; he understands our desires and longings to do better when we feel like we're not reaching our full potential. He understands that we can be hard on ourselves and that it can be easy to get discouraged. But because of the Atonement, He's willing and able to forget our shortcomings as we resolve to do better the next time. If He can, can't we too? When we're not who we want to be, He'll help us get there regardless of our past. Once we realize that we truly can be who the Lord needs us to be, the windows of heaven are opened and we can see, and eventually reach, our full potential. Like the small, consistent acts of goodness of my earbud friends, reaching our full potential comes through small, consistent acts of self-improvement. It doesn't come all at once, but line-upon-line, precept-upon-precept.

Eish, I guess I'm getting a little preachy, eh? I dunno, I thought it was good stuff. I'm just excited for everything that lies ahead this year. Week one has been awesome, and I only see things going up.

Well, it's like 1:00 AM now. Game night with the cousins went a little longer than expected. I've got a run planned in the morning before the Labor Day get-together starts, so I should probably wrap up for now. Until next week!

Much love and aloha!

Dizzy

S1E5 Pics

S1E4

Aloooha!

Charging full speed... Like a seagull on the beach. Because that's kinda how life comes at you sometimes, right? One Sunday, you're at the tail end of your month of relaxation in between the mish and university. The next, your brother's gone to the MTC, your mom's come and gone (with the cat, I might add), you've moved up to Logan, and you've got school the next day.Yoh, time moves my friends! Enjoy the moments as they come and don't blink, because before you know it,  they're gone and you're on to a new chapter in your life.

I think one of the inevitable results of serving a mission is being prepared for a constant stream of people entering and exiting your life. Every time you get transferred, you're saying goodbye to people you've grown to love and meeting new people that you will once again grow to love, if only for a few months before saying goodbye once again. Up until your mission, things are pretty constant, though. You generally stick with the same group of friends, your family's all together, you live in one place, and life really isn't all that difficult. But I think mission is a little taste of everything that comes next. Finding things that are constant in your life becomes more difficult. It really teaches you to appreciate the little things that do remain constant... The friendships that survive the test of time, having a place to stay where you don't have to live out of a suitcase, and most importantly, family. We're separated for a season between three different states, but it's good to know that after a couple years we'll all be back together again. And with time charging full speed ahead like it has been lately, it really shouldn't be too long.

Spending a couple last days with Blake was the bomb, though. Between haircuts from Raleigh, golfing, dining, and making a whole Snapchat story out of it, we had some good last times. He's sure gonna do great things out there. 

So let's see... That all happened. There's been a lot this week. We ended up having to juggle some of Mama's flights around so that the cat could end up in Hawaii. That was kind of an ordeal, but he did end up making it there safe and sound! What else... The same day we dropped Blake off at the MTC was the day I ended up moving to Logan... So it was Syracuse to Provo to Syracuse to Logan all in one day. Hectic, but it ended up working out. Inheriting basically the whole pantry after your family moves across the ocean requires an extra car, so it was good to have Mama here for that. It's taken a couple days to get settled in, but I think I'm about there and it feels great. Went to the temple with Taylor, found a lekker Indian restaurant right close to Oakridge, ended up in Bear Lake with some longtime friends Saturday... It's been gooood times. I'm stoked for this school year to start.

I have a couple thoughts I wanted to share quickly and then I'll probably wrap up. Well, probably just one thought actually... Stewardship. I think generally we all want to be good people and change the world and what and what, but what I've seen time and time again is that it's extremely difficult for one person's actions to change the world in some significant capacity. But where each of us can make differences is in the lives of individuals. I believe that there will always be certain people... Not many, but certain people placed in our lives for a reason. Whether for them to help us, or us to help them, it doesn't really matter, but certain people that we'll be close to. We may not be able to change the world, but we can always be a positive influence to those we're close to. And it may not always be big things, but as we consistently and genuinely go out of our way to make small differences in our friends' and family's lives, brotherly/sisterly love will result. I made the three hour round trip drive to Bear Lake and back with one Luke Koenen (funny story with that...we haven't yet decided if it would be better to call ourselves 5th and 6th wheels to Dan/Kenzie and Taylor/Lauren or to just call ourselves Luke/Dallin...), and we had one of the most spiritually edifying conversations I've had in a long time. I mean it was nothing too big or showy or anything, but I felt like it put both of us in a good place. I dunno, I guess that's kinda my idea of stewardship. Watching out for and being genuine to the people you're close with. I mean obviously be good to other people too, but especially to those you're close with.

Looking back this week... My grandpa's an incredible example of this. On the drive up to Logan, he was telling me how hard it is for him every time one of his grandkids leaves on a mission. I was the first, and Blake was the fourth. He said it's gotten a little easier, but it's still tough. It kinda hit me how much he loves us. He definitely makes me want to be better... Especially to my own family members. He must be doing something right, eh?

Anyway, I should probably run... It's a school night (first in two years...weird), I've got a few people I still want to see, and a whole new chapter in life to get ready for. Luckily, I'll be doing this all in the first permanent home I've had in months and months. Hurrah!

Much love and aloha!

Dizzy

S1E4 Pics

S1E3

Aloooha!

Yoh yoh yoh... It's kinda crazy how much can happen in two years. Selfie sticks can be invented and subsequently banned from Disneyland. The sound a fox makes can be discovered and have a song written about it. Donald Trump can go from being someone people followed on Twitter for comic relief (even though he took himself seriously) to someone who's a serious contender to rule the free world. Give it another two years and we'll probably even find a cure for cancer. Perhaps we have it already but it's just hidden in Donald's hair... Not likely, but you never know unless you check. Someone should get on that. Anyway, my point is things can happen and change over two years. That includes people. Everyone's been on different journeys, learning different things, and reconnecting/finding out what people have been up to has been one of the highlights of returning home. Man, I have such cool friends. A wise man named Braiden Childs once told me, "The more deep conversations I have with anyone the better I feel. That's what brings me joy." Amen to that.

So I know I've said this before, but post-mission life is a roller coaster of ups and downs. Luckily, this week's had lots more ups. I should probably start by spotlighting my grandpa for doing something no one else has ever been able to. After years and years of proving to the world that it is indeed possible to golf a ball farther right than straight, he fixed my slice. After watching my swing on the driving range for a while, he suggested a simple pop of the wrist to change the angle of the club face when it hits the ball. And holy fetch, it worked! The rest of the day after that my shots were consistently going straight! Golf is probably the most bipolar relationship I have. I went from hating it that morning to loving it at the end of that day. Knowing how my luck goes, though, I'll probably have something else to fix next time I get out and play. It'll be good to keep Grandpa around. What a stud.

Grandpa fixing slice? Up.

I made it to the temple this week, and I think that's probably the best place to go for personal revelation. There really aren't too many places you can go to be completely cut off from the rest of the world, but the temple is one. It's peaceful, it's quiet, it's still, it's reverent, and it gives you the chance to ponder deeply and the Spirit a chance to speak to your most personal needs, whether they be spiritual or temporal. That's something I didn't appreciate nearly as much two years ago... Stillness. I've yet to find a better way to clear the mind and focus on things that really are important. Truly wonderful.

Temple? Up.

What else, what else... Eish, I'm kinda tired so I'll probably just summarize the rest so I can get a little bit of nap time in before game night with the grandparents. Basically between hiking Manoa falls, trying loco moco, a red eye flight, a wedding reception, riding bikes around SLC, Indian food, a blind date, game night at the Lows, a Real Salt Lake game (complete with free food, drinks, parking, and second row seats), and missionary homecomings, it's been ups all around.

People with surnames like Johnson, Cox, Tiem, Facer, Sargent, Coleman, Dalton, Fox, Emery, Stettler, Carling, Schwab, Granados, Washburn, Young, Harbertson, Allen, Low, Hafen, West, Fillmore, Oldroyd, Page, and probably more I've forgotten to mention? Up x23. (At least.)

I think I finished last week's post Sunday afternoon... The rest of that day and Monday were the last days the six members of the Johnson ohana would be all together for a long while. Which is sad, but hey... We've had a month of togetherness and it's been wonderful. At least we didn't miss each other by like a day or something. Tyler and Taylor, if either of you are reading this, haha sorry. Our last little while together consisted of hiking, Taco Bell, blobs, and pictures. Kiley hurt her ankle at school that day (had to ride around school in a golf cart all day...yeah, life is hard), so she had to sit out our last supper, but it's ok because we still love the crap out of her. But now that I'm back in Utah, the two year clock 'til we reunite has started all over again. Sure hope it goes fast.

Being away from family? Down.

But being together for eternity? Biggest up there is.

More changes coming this week... Blake to the MTC Wednesday, me to Logan later that day, and school the following Monday. After months and months of living out of a suitcase, I'm gonna have a home and a bed to call my own!!! H*CK YEAH!!! Couldn't be more excited or nervous. More adventures lie

Much love and aloha!

Dizzy

S1E3 Pics

S1E2

Aloooha!

I think I forgot to mention this last week, but I'm including Spotify playlists on these posts. Usually they'll just be songs that have been stuck in my head the last week or so, but occasionally they'll be a little more significant. It's Time by Imagine Dragons, for example, was the first song last week because I felt like Dan Reynolds nailed post-mission life beautifully with it. The Foo Fighters earned the top spot and episode title this week with their song Learn to Fly. A few weeks ago, about a thousand musicians got together and performed this song, asking Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters to come play a show in Italy. Hundreds of drummers, hundreds of guitar players, and hundreds of singers got together for it. Their performance is something beautiful. Most of the people there I'm sure had different political, religious, and economic views, different cultures, and different backgrounds, and yet, for one brief moment, all of that was set aside while they did their thing. Amazing what music can do. The video can be found here. (A word of warning, though, after they finish the song, the video goes on another couple minutes and the speaker uses a little bit of colourful language!) The title is also pretty fitting to where I feel like I am right now... Making my way back home and learning to fly.

Ah, this last week has been great. Although I must say, living in Hawai'i is much different than vacationing in Hawai'i. I feel like when you're on vacation, you're trying to pack as much into one day as possible. But when you're living somewhere, you have a lot more free time. A lot more time to just sit back and relax. And this is especially true when you throw being unemployed, not going to school, and living with your parents into the mix. Coming right off mission where you're trying to be productive literally every single hour of the day, having this much free time is insanely frustrating. But I think just like it takes learning to be that productive, it takes a little bit of learning to enjoy the free time also. It's been good, though. I'm still on mission schedule even with all the time zone changes, so I've been up a little earlier than the other guys. Been able to get some good runs in and make some nice Spam and eggs. (We're in Hawai'i... How can I not?!) And then once the others are up, Blake, Biz and I have gotten a lot of pinball playing and How I Met Your Mother watching in while Kiley's been at school.

Speaking of How I Met Your Mother, I should probably mention this before I forget... It is insane how many life lessons you can learn from Ted and his friends. One that stuck out in particular to me this week was this:

"You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it." -- Ted Mosby

Before I left on mission, I had no idea how easy it would be to lose track of people. But it's real. If there are people you want in your life more than just an accidental bumping into at a wedding reception or mission homecoming, you have to give it some good effort. Without it, most people will simply disappear into the sea of the rest of the world. I dunno. Hold onto those you love... I guess that would be the lesson to learn. Also, the love story between Ted and the Girl with the Yellow Umbrella may be one of my favorite love stories ever told. I included La Vie En Rose by Cristin Milioti on the playlist this week, since that's the first song Ted hears her sing.

Anyway, back to reality...

Great sibling and mama bonding time this week. We made it to some of the touristy stuff too. Pali lookout, Pearl Harbour, Hale'iwa, Ewa beach, Laie, Diamond Head... We should have made it to the temple too but there's kind of a funny story behind that. The man I used to know as Elder Gold (but whom I now know as Landon) invited Blake and I to go spear fishing Friday morning just outside his dorm on Laie Point. Since we were gonna be making the drive to Laie anyway, we figured we'd get a temple session in afterward too. So we woke up early that morning and packed everything we'd need... Snorkels and fins for fishing, church clothes and temple bags for the temple. We drove to Laie wearing just t-shirts and board shorts since we were gonna be in the water, but...perhaps that was a mistake. I realized about halfway through the drive that among the white shirt, tie, pants, shoes, socks, belt, and temple bag I had packed, there were no garments. I'm notorious for forgetting underwear. It's happened on at least one family vacation, and I guess now it's happened on a temple trip too. Since I had already tried going for a run while the sun was highest in the sky that week, I figured I didn't need to add "go through the temple without garments" to my list of terrible ideas I'd tried. So long story short, temple trip ended up not happening, but spear fishing was the bomb. Blake and I didn't catch anything, but Landon caught a unicorn fish that he ended up frying up for us. umNandi kakhulu.

I don't remember if it was this week or last, but I had a conversation with Elder Childs (eish... Braiden now), and we were talking about how there definitely is something real about being set apart. He asked me if someone came and told me to wake up tomorrow and do missionary work all day, would I be able to do it? And honestly, I'm not sure... I think I could drag myself through it, but I know it wouldn't be the same while I was set apart. Looking back, I have no idea how in the world we did that every single day for two years. No downtime. No vacations. Even on p-days, you're hardly relaxing. Are missionaries sustained by the Lord? By the millions of prayers coming from members daily all over the world? I have to believe so.

Well, I'm hopping on the plane tomorrow night back to Utah. Kinda crazy... Been with the family the last couple weeks, but with me heading out tomorrow, Blake leaving to the MTC in 10 days, and the fam bam living in Hawai'i, this is the last weekend we're gonna be together for for another two years... Here we go again! But it's worth it. The sacrifice is definitely worth it. Probably should wrap up and go spend some time with them. There may be plans to have a camp out on the couches tonight... We'll see how that plays out!

Oh! I've posted a link to an album of pictures from the Hawai'i trip if you want to check that out.

Much love and aloha!

Dizzy

Hawai'i Photos

S1E1

Alooooooha!

Well, it looks like I've been off the mish about three weeks now. And to say these last three weeks have been crazy would be the understatement of this dispensation. Yoh... Probably the last four or five months or so actually. The last time I had at least a semi-permanent residence was the six months I spent in Umlazi, and that time ended back in April. After getting transferred from there, I spent six weeks in Berea, four weeks in Thaba Nchu, two weeks in Durban for the PMTC, a week and a half or so staying in hotels with the parents while we toured Africa, a week at the apartment in Kaysville, a week with Blake and the grandparents in their new house, and now I've been in Hawaii with the fam bam the last week or so. And this isn't the end. After another week here, it'll be another week and a half with the grandparents before moving up to Logan for school. Don't get me wrong... The last few months have been absolutely incredible, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but at the same time, living out of a suitcase really makes you appreciate the simple beauty in having a permanent place to set up base camp, even if conditions aren't grand. Remember that, kids.

Ah, so where to begin... Ok, maybe with my purpose in setting up this blog. Basically, returning home from mission has probably been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'd been hearing from people for months and months that coming home from mission is hard and it's a big adjustment and blah blah blah, but I always just kinda brushed it off. I figured what they were talking about was adjusting back socially and figuring out how to have conversations with girls again without asking them how their Book of Mormon reading is going. While that is a legitimate concern, it's definitely not what people were talking about. And I realized that when it was my turn to head home. I landed in SLC on a Friday and gave my homecoming talk the following Sunday. For that weekend I was the spotlight, and everything seemed to be going great. I felt like I could still talk to people normally, people still remembered who I was... How was this going to be hard?! Well, after the party's over, reality starts to set in. Time hasn't frozen for a couple years just because you decided to do the Lord's work. You realize that no matter how badly you may wish it, life isn't going to be the same as it was two years ago. As you scroll through Facebook, you don't recognize a lot of your female friends because so many of them have different surnames. You see people that have moved away, people that have started families, people that have finished school, people that have careers... And you realize that as truly amazing as your mission was, in the real world, you're at virtually the exact same place you were two years ago. (This isn't taking into account all the real world experience you gain as a missionary, but that realization didn't hit me 'til much later.)

So the question that hits you like a ton of bricks is this: What next? Your only real option  at this point is to do something you've learned to do for two years straight: transition, get to work, and make the best of whatever life throws your way.

The transition was explained to me like this: the pre-mission you is person A, the mission you is person B, and the post-mission you is person C. Persons A and B are behind you, and you're trying to figure out who person C is. When you get off mission, you're likely going to want to be the closest thing to person B as you possibly can. Person B was great. Person B studied their scriptures every day, woke up and went to sleep on a set schedule, talked to everyone all the time about the gospel, bridled their passions for worldly things, and found an immense amount of joy in helping others to find an immense amount of joy. But you learn quickly that person B isn't really an option at this point. With so many real world priorities competing for your time, you find yourself slipping back into some of person A's habits you thought you'd ridded yourself of. Social media, for example. More on that in a minute. So you're at a crossroads. You have the agency to make person C whoever you want person C to be. In my mind, that would be taking the best parts of person A and the best parts of person B and balancing them out into a whole new person C. But that's the tricky part. Balance... I think there's a lot to that. Again, more on that in a minute. Shoutout to Kelsey and Tina Schwab for this analogy by the way!

Luckily, you're not taking this path to person C alone. Especially if you're in Utah. You're surrounded by people that have either taken the path themselves, or like you are currently on it. You'll find it really easy to reconnect with some people, and a bit more difficult with others. You'll realize that of your 1100 or so Facebook friends, there are some people you may not have any desire to reconnect with, but you realize that that's ok! Time is precious, and you want to spend it with the people that make you happiest. That's at least one thing you picked up over the last two years. So you do some reconnecting, and you find yourself roaming Station Park with people like Alexon Tiem, on the golf course with people like Ryan Francom (who you met a couple years earlier as Elder Francom, your first zone leader), or playing volleyball and habanero pong with the guys at Stephen Godderidge's bachelor party, and you realize that you've got a pretty awesome group of people around you. And after spending even more time with your family, you remember that they're probably the greatest people in your life. Especially after spending hours playing card games with your cousins, spending a week at the man cave with your grandpa, going to Warped Tour with your brother, and spending your first week at the new house in Hawaii with the fam bam.

So that's the reality I've been dropped back into. And making sense of/finding my place in it is tough, but it's good. It's a learning and growing experience. The Lord wants us to find balance in our lives. I learned this on mission, and I'm convinced more and more of it as time goes on. Balance between our passions and His will, balance between productivity and leisure, balance between justice and mercy, balance between most things. I remember back when I was a zone leader there was a disobedient missionary I was really struggling to reach out to. I talked to the Z Man a few times about him, and his suggestion was this: love him. Genuinely love him. Be his friend, and when the time is right, nudge him to try and be a little better. Find a balance between being his friend, but also not going off the deepend yourself. Elder Esplin (now Shandon, I guess, since we're both home now) suggested that finding balance in your life is all about choosing to use your time for the things that are actually most important. (We've also decided that life is all about settling... Choosing what you settle for. You have to settle for some things, but make sure you don't settle on the important things. For example, if money is tight, buy the no-name brand macaroni and cheese before you buy the one-ply toilet paper. Come on, don't settle when it comes to toilet paper.) So once you can figure out what's most important, the path starts to make itself clearer.

And that's the point I feel like I'm at right now. I feel like I have a pretty good idea of who I want person C to be. After some deep conversations with friends and family about the future, I've toyed with some lofty goals... Grad school and whatnot. I think I've got what it takes to go somewhere big. But as I started thinking about it, I asked myself... What do I want in life? What do I really, truly want? Happiness, obviously. And I think that happiness will ultimately come in the form of raising a family in the gospel. As long as I can live comfortably and provide for them, will I really need much else? I don't think so. Does it take a big, prestigious school to get me there? I mean it can't hurt... But not necessarily. So that's not to say I don't have big goals anymore, but I do think it's important to keep our eyes on the big picture and who we want to become when we're making plans, goals, and decisions about the future.

...so how does this all relate to my purpose in setting up this blog? Well, the person C I've envisioned doesn't waste as much time on social media as person A did, yet I keep finding myself mindlessly scrolling through newsfeeds. I wonder if this is how drug addicts feel... Haibo. But anyway, since person B loved writing his weekly letters home so much, why not keep that habit alive? That's kinda the thought that came to me yesterday. Call it serendipity if you'd like, but I'd like to call it inspired, so we're gonna roll with this for a while and see what happens. I've set some goals for myself to cut back on social media, and uh, we'll see how it goes! I'll probably cave a few times before kicking the habit for good, but hey... Isn't that kinda why Christ suffered for us? Give us a chance to get things right the second time (or third, or fourth, or however many times we need) as long as we're genuinely trying to be better?

Anyway, I should probably bounce for the day. Going on our first family drive in two years. More rambling coming your way next week. I'll try and figure out how to get pictures on here too. Hmmm...

Sala kahle, stay positive, and love your lives my friends.

Much love and aloha!

Dizzy
(That's what my dad's called me for years... And it fit best with the Arrested Development logo I ripped off, so...)