Aloooha!
Well hey, it's been a few weeks since I've done one of these, eh? I guess once things start pickin' up during the school year, you don't have as much time to do the things you enjoy. Ah haibo... Hopefully the fact that I enjoy blogging doesn't make me lame.
Anyway, this post has been a long time coming. I've been wanting to write it up for a while, but just haven't had the time. But looking back, that's probably a good thing. I think this'll wrap up on a much more positive note today than it would have other days. That'll probably make more sense at the end of this, though, so I think I'll just dive right in...
I'm sure most of us have heard the phrase "spread too thin" before. You know those times you go to a restaurant and the waitress brings you like fifteen rolls but only one small sacrament cup of butter to split between them? It's kind of like that. Instead of being able to make one roll delicious with the right amount of butter, you're stuck dividing it fifteen ways and none of them end up tasting very good.
The last few weeks I've felt like I can really relate to the butter in this analogy. I've grown up with the idea that I can do and get involved with anything and everything I want. And up until this point, that's been true. In high school, I did everything. I swam, I took AP classes, I was in student government, I played volleyball, and I managed a 4.0 GPA on top of that. The same went for my freshman year up here at Utah State. Coming back from my mission this summer I figured I should probably take advantage of all the involvement opportunities I could get my hands on. On top of 17 credit hours, I decided to continue with the Huntsman Scholars program, volunteer with the programming office, get more involved with SigEp, find part time work, train for a marathon, and stay spiritually strong. And I mean I probably realized that each of those individually was a pretty big commitment at the start, but hey... That had never stopped me before. Well, I'm proud to say I've been managing to balance everything so far.
...kind of.
The realization I had a couple weeks ago that really freaked me out was that by committing myself to so many different things, it's hard to be really involved with any one of them in particular. Like, I've met people in Huntsman Scholars, and that's what they're involved in. They're able to commit much more effort than I've been able to and have gotten so much more out of it. It goes the same with most of the things I'm doing -- there are people that get to be passionate about that one organization they're involved in, and that defines who they are during their college years. As I thought about this, I asked myself, "Who have I been so far? What defines me?" And at this point, I don't know the answer to those questions. I guess what's defined me so far this year has been attending mandatory meetings and quickly making my way to other commitments. And that sucks... I don't get to know as many people or get as much out of what I'm "involved" in as I should.
My class schedule this semester reflects that as well. If you were to find out that I'm taking a genetics class, a chem class, an econ class, a tennis class, and a western swing class this semester, you may guess correctly that I'm an economics major, but the odds aren't necessarily in your favour.
I hit a pretty low point this last week after spending every free moment I had on Sunday and Monday studying for exams in two of my classes that I didn't end up doing particularly well on. I've always excelled in academics, and getting to the point where I can't even excel there anymore is rough. And in the meantime, I've felt like I've been neglecting people and things I should be committing more time to.
When you hit that point, something's gotta give.
A few weeks ago, all of us 2012 Davis SBOs had a reunion. It was incredible to be with them again. I think hands down, out of any group of people I've ever been a part of, I enjoyed my time most with them. We found massive success in fulfilling our responsibilities and were as close and unified to each other as we could be. Even though we all came from different backgrounds, we had each made being a student body officer our priority that year. That ended up defining our senior years. Our other priorities came second. When you can get a group of nine people (Dave is definitely included here) to commit to that, truly incredible things will happen.
I think at this point, I need to prioritize and decide what's really important. Look at long term goals. Commit myself to the most important things and let others go. There's no sense in being a jack of all trades if you can't master at least one of them.
Luckily, I'm blessed with some pretty incredible people in my life. I have family and friends that I can always turn to for advice. And for that reason I'm feeling good right now. There's something about taking a break from life to go to a corn maze or spending Halloween weekend at a cabin with good people and (close to) no cell phone service that can really help clear your mind. Good food as well. If you've never had Alexon Tiem spend an afternoon cooking a giant meal for you, you're missin' out.
I think the ultimate goal in this life is to find happiness, and that happiness should be coming all along the journey. Be excellent. Do things that make you happy. If you're not doing things that are bringing you joy, you probably need to make some changes.
Anyway, I should probably get back to school work for now. Writing this has been a nice break though. Hopefully it's less than two months before I have time to write another one of these, eh?
Much love and aloha my friends.
Dizzy
